Hodjanernes Blog

1 september 2013

John Cleese kommentar til sikkerhedsniveauet i verdenen p.t.

Filed under: Australien, Frankrig, Holland, Humor, Italien, Spanien/Portugal, Syrien, TrumfEs, Tyskland, UK — Tags: — trumfes @ 12:08

Den engelske komiker John Cleese er altid god for et godt grin

Læs hans rammende beskrivelse af sikkerhedsniveaet i forskellige lande efter krigsretorikken pga gasangrebet i Syrien:

ALERTS TO THREATS
IN 2013 EUROPE

From JOHN CLEESE

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels ..

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

Regards,

John Cleese ,
British writer, actor and tall person

Kilde : O.S.N.

7 kommentarer »

  1. I Danmark vil mange vel bare spørge om hvad kommunen vil gøre ved problemet.

    Like

    Kommentar af Morten dreyer — 1 september 2013 @ 13:03

  2. I Sverige tager de tyren ved hornene: http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/article17386280.ab

    PS: Kommentarerne nærmest oversvømmes af spam for tiden.

    Like

    Kommentar af Hodja — 1 september 2013 @ 14:38

  3. Danish security level raised from “Villy Sleepvalley: We shall do nothing without approval from the UN” to “Helle Kinnock: We shall do a lot without approval from anybody but me”.

    Like

    Kommentar af louisbknockel — 1 september 2013 @ 15:08

  4. John Kerry: Sarin anvendt i Syrien
    Ifølge udenrigsministeren viser prøver, at der er anvendt sarin i kemisk angreb i Syrien.

    USA’s udenrigsminister John Kerry siger i et interview med CNN, at prøver har vist, at der blev anvendt nervestoffet sarin i kemisk angreb i Syrien.

    Angrebet ramte angiveligt Ghouta-området i det østlige Damaskus den 21. august. Amerikanerne placerer ansvaret for angrebet hos den syriske præsident Bashar al-Assad.
    ————————————————-
    Hvor ved John Kerry det fra, har FN måske talt. ????
    Det kunne jo også være, at han har fået det at vide af Obama

    Like

    Kommentar af Korsridderen. — 1 september 2013 @ 17:33

  5. og selv om der skulle være blevet brugt sarin, så kan det sagtens være USA der har leveret det til oprørerne, så de amerikanske gangstere har en plausibel grund til at angribe Assad

    Like

    Kommentar af Ervin Peters — 2 september 2013 @ 10:10

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